What If
by Millenium Pen
Summary: A collection of funny stories, based on questions some YuGiOh fans might ask. I'm not very good at summaries. Can ya tell? Suggestions Welcome! CHAPTER 5 UP
1. Yugi let Kaiba win

Millenium Pen: Hello readers. I'm Millenium Pen. You cancall me MP though.Thank you for choosing my story. I already have a story out called Friendship Beyond the Grave. It's a dramatic mystery story. But I thought I'de take a crack at comedy. Anyway, this is a collection of crazy answers to questions YuGiOh fans might have. Hope you like them. Oh, and don't forget to Review!

**Disclaimer:** I obviously don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

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**What If...**

_...Yugi let Kaiba win __his title back so he would just shut up already?_

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Yugi Mutou and Seto Kaiba are dueling. Yugi has no monsters, but one trap card on the field. Kaiba has no magic, trap, or monster cards on the field. It's his turn. He draws a card. The Life Points stand at Kaiba: 200 Yugi: 300.

Kaiba: -_looks at card_- Hahaha! This match is over Yugi. I play my Battle Ox in attack mode!

Kaiba sets a card on his duel disk. The image of a fierce Battle Ox appears. It has the attack of 1800. If it's attack succeeds, Yugi will lose the duel, and his title as King of Games.

Kaiba: Now my ox, attack Yugi's life points directly!

The large ox lunges at the spikey haired duelist. Yugi places his hand on his duel disk. He is ready to activate his card. Suddenly, a thought comes to mind. Kaiba is always annoying him and his friends, all because of this title. Yugi gets an idea, and decides not to activate his face down card. The attack strikes, and his life points drop to zero. Life Points- Kaiba: 200 Yugi: 0

Yugi: Argh! My life points!

Kaiba: Hahahahaha! I've done it! I finally beat Yugi Mutou! I am now the official King of Games!

Yugi: Yes Kaiba...you won. -_thinking_- 'Yeah right. It's so obvious that I let him win. His ego is just blinding him.'

Kaiba: Hahaha! Now that I have my title back, my life is nearly complete! Now I'll fly to California, with Mokuba, and start my own chain of amusement parks! -_jumps on private jet and flies off_-

Joey: Yes! He's finally gone! -_jumps around for joy_-

Yugi: Finally. Maybe now he'll shut up and leave me alone.

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That night, Yugi is sleeping in his bed. It's 3:00 AM. Suddenly, the phone rings, breaking the silence for the third time that night. Yugi is awoken, and fumbles around in the dark, searching for the phone.

Yugi: -_yawn_- Hello?

Kaiba: Yes! I beat you Yugi! Hahahahaha!

Constant laughter flows through the phone line. Yugi gets an angry look on his face. With an irritated growl, and rage in his eyes, he slams the phone down on the reciever.

Yugi: Darn it all!

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**To Be Continued in the Next Quesionable Chapter...**


	2. Joey found the Puzzle

MP: Hello, and welcome back readers. Here is yet another crazy installment to my collection. This one has two different scenes, but has the same plot. So, here we go with the next chapter. And please remember to Review!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, stop reminding me!

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**What If...**

_...Joey Wheeler found the __Millennium Puzzle instead of Yugi Mutou?_

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It's a sunny, bright, hot day in Egypt. Joey Wheeler is wandering around after getting bored on the class field trip and deciding to take off. He looks around, a bored expression plastered on his face. There is nothing but seas of sand in every direction. 

Joey: Man this is lame. What kinda stupid field trip is-

Joey suddenly trips over something in the sand.

Joey: What the? What did I trip over? Hey, what's this?

The blonde boy finds something odd by his feet. He sees a shiney golden object buried in the grains of sand. It looks like a pyramid shaped necklace. But it's missing a piece. Oddly enough, there's a piece lying next to it. It is a small golden object with a weird eye shape on it. He picks up the necklace and the piece and puts them together, wondering what would happen.

Joey: Hm...I wonder what I could get for this on eBay...

Suddenly, the necklace begins to glow.

Joey: Gah! -_drops necklace in surprise_-

The light grows dimmer. As it does, a figure, resembling some sort of holographic picture, appears. It has spikey, multi-colored hair and crimson eyes. The figure has on the necklace, aswell as the same kind of uniform Joey is now wearing.

Yami: Greetings Joey.

Joey: Ah! Aw man, I've finally cracked...hey, wait a minute, aren't you dat kid in my class? Yugi...Mutou-was it?

Yami: No Joey, I am Yami. I am an ancient egyptian pharaoh that once ruled the land. I also battled the forces of darkness with the power of the Millennium Puzzle. But unfortunately, much of my memory of those times has faded.

Joey: Uh-huh...and what's with da necklace?

Yami: This is the Millennium Puzzle. It holds vast magical powers beyond mortal knowledge. And you, Joey, have been chosen to carry this ancient, deadly, power.

Joey: Oooh...kaay...whatever...

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It's a long time later. Joey is in the middle of a duel. Possibly the most important duel of his life. He's at Duelist Kindom, facing Pegasus in the final match. Yugi, Tea, and Tristan are cheering him on. While Bakura and Mokuba are unconcious of course. Joey has the Millennium Puzzle on. Pegasus has no monsters on the field, but one face down card. The life points stand at Pegasus: 800 Joey: 400. It's Joey's turn. 

Joey: Okay, moment of truth. It all comes down to this turn. Come on 'Heart of the Cards.' -_draws card_- Alright!

Yami: -_appears to help_- Yes! You've drawn the perfect card! Now you can use that card with that one, and then activate that, and-

Joey: Stop telling me what to do!

Yami: But Joey

Joey: I play my Red Eyes Black Dragon and attack you directly! -_plays Red Eyes Black Dragon card and orders an attack_-

The attack is about to hit, and victory seems assured. Suddenly, Pegasus activates his trap card. Magical Cylinder. The attack is fired back at Joey's lifepoints. The point counter goes to 0.

Joey: Noo!

Pegasus: Hahahah...looks like you lose Joseph. And you know what that means. I claim your soul as my prize!

Pegasus' Millennium Eye flashes. Joey can feel his very soul being ripped from his body. Meanwhile, the gang watches helplessly from the sidelines.

Pegasus: Hahahaha!

Joey: Argh! Aaahh! -_soul is being torn away_-

Yugi, Tea, and Tristan: JOEY!

Yami: -_folds arms_- Told ya.

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**To Be Continued in the Next Questionable Chapter...**


	3. Kaiba and Tea switched places

MP: Hello readers! It's time for yet another crazy answer to an even crazier question. This one comes from my good friend Melony Mutou (read her stories! they're great!...i mean it! read them darn you!). I'm sure this will be enjoyable. Or at least I hope so. You be the judge. And don't forget to review!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!...But thank god for Kazuki Takahashi**

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**What If...**

_...Seto Kaiba and Tea Gardener switched places_

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It's the first episode of the first season. Yugi, Joey, Tristan and KAIBA have arrived at TEA's company building to pick up Yugi's grandpa. They come in to find him on the ground gasping and Tea standing on the other side of the room.

Yugi: Grandpa! -_runs up to check on him_- Are you ok?

The whole gang runs up to Yugi's grandpa. They flip him over on his back and Yugi kneels at his side.

Yugi: Grandpa! Are you alright?

Grandpa: Yu...gi...beware...of her...

Yugi: Of who Grandpa?

Grandpa: T...Tea...Gardener...

Tea: That's right Yugi. You should beware.

The gang look up and notice Tea. She's standing with an evil smirk on her face, almost as if she's mocking them.

Joey: Hey you! What did you do ta Yugi's grandpa?

Tea: Your grandpa, Yugi, is fine. I'm afraid my technology simply overwheamled him...but his defeat served my purpose.

Tea holds up a card. It's none other than Grandpa's Blue Eyes White Dragon. She smiles wickedly and rips it in half.

Grandpa: My Blue Eyes!

Joey: Dude! You ripped up Gramps' Blue Eyes! Why you lousy bi -_is censored by 4Kids company- _Oops! Sorry...

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It's the final battle in Duelist Kindom before Yugi and the gang enter the castle. Yugi is facing Tea for entery. It's the climactic scene where Yugi must choose to attack at the risk of hurting Tea, or lose. Yugi is struggling with himself. Tea calls out.

Tea: This is it Yugi. Come and win the duel! Unless you don't have the guts to attack!

Yugi: I've never backed down from a duel Tea, and I'm not starting now! Celtic Gaurdian, attack her Blue Eyes and end the duel!

Yugi's monster runs toward the melting Blue Eyes White Dragon. Suddenly, Kaiba runs toward Yugi.

Kaiba: Yugi! You can't do this! You can't take this risk!

Yugi: He's right. Stooooooooop!

Yugi's monster suddenly stops and stands still. Yugi falls to his kness. Kaiba stops and stands over him. Tea meanwhile steps off the ledge and orders her Blue Eyes to attack. It wipes out the monster and the rest of Yugi's lifepoints. The holograms disappear and the rest of the gang run up to Yugi.

Joey: Yugi, are you ok man?

Yugi: I couldn't control it...I couldn't stop...

Tristan: It's ok Yugi. Your grandpa wouldn't want to be saved that way anyway.

Yugi: No, it's not that...the presence...inside me. I coldn't stop it. It was willing to do whatever it took to defeat Tea!

Tea: Hmph. I should have known you wouldn't be able to carry out your attack. You're too weak.

Kaiba gets irritated. He starts shaking in silent anger. Suddenly he shouts out with tears in his eyes.

Kaiba: HE SPARED YOU! He spared you Tea Gardener!

Tea: He lost the duel...

Kaiba: The duel? Yugi may have lost one lousy duel monsters game, but at least he has a heart! Victory dosen't matter! Because no matter what, Yugi always has a heart, and he always has us! And what do you have Tea Gardener? What do you have at the end of the day? Tell me!

Tea:_ -growls and throws star chips up in the air, then catches them in a flashy, show offy way-_ I have all that I need! _-she begins to walk away toward the door-_

Joey: Yeah, just keep walking Tea! Yugi's twice da man you'll ever be!

Tea: _-shouts back- _I'm a woman you idiot!

Tristan:_ -turns to Kaiba-_ Hey Kaiba, can I ask you something?

Kaiba: -_turns to Tristan- _What?

Tristan: Dude...are you gay?

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**To Be Continued In The Next Questionable Chapter...**


	4. Yami ran out of Hair Gel

MP: Hello everyone! I am **so** sorry it took me so long to update. I've been busy with my fic, Seal of Fears. Again, REALLY sorry. I'll try to work more on this. Anyway, so here is the next chapter. Personally, I don't think this is as good as my other ones, but humor is in the eye of the beholder. So, for now, read and review!

**Disclaimer:** Dang it, we've been through this! I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

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**What If...**

_...Yami ran out of hair gel?_

(( Yami: Don't even joke about that! ))

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We are on the set of the famous anime, Yu-Gi-Oh! The crew is working on a scene for an episode. 

Kaiba: Get ready Yugi, because this time, I'll be the victor!

Yugi: We'll see about that Kaiba!

Director: And...cut! Good job everyone! Now, let's get Yami in here for the duel scene!

There is no response. Everyone realizes that Yami isn't there.

Yugi: Hey, where's Yami?

Joey: -_shrugs_- Maybe he's taking a break.

Director: Well this is no time for a break! We need to get this scene done! -_goes off to Yami's trailer_-

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At Yami's trailer... 

Director: -_bangs on the door of the trailer_- Yami! Hey Yami, get out here! We've got a show to do!

Yami: I can't!

Director: Why not?

Yami: I...well I...I ran out of hair gel!

Director: So? That's no big deal...

Yami: Well, I also kinda...ran out of...hair dye...

Director: What? How could you run out of both hair dye, and hair gel, at the same time? Without that, you don't look a thing like your character!

Yami: I know! I gotta get more if I'm gonna do a show!

Director: I'll try to get some more. You just do what you can to get your hair fixed! -_rushes off to find hair products_-

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Soon, everyone is on break until Yami can get some more gel and dye. 

Yugi: I wonder why this is such a big deal. Yami shouldn't have too different hair...

Joey: Couldn't he just borrow some of your's Yugi?

Yugi: Huh? I don't use gel or dye. My hair's natural.

Joey: -_eyes Yugi oddly_- You don't say?

Yami comes up, holding a towel over his hair.

Yami: Yugi, can I borrow some of your hair gel and dye?

Yugi: I don't have any! My hair is natural!

Joey: What's the big deal? Does your hair really look that different Yami?

Yami: You have no idea...

Joey: Oh come on, it can't be that bad. -_pulls towel off Yami's head_-

As the towel comes off, Yami's hair is fully visible. His hair is shoulder length and surprisingly, a deep green color.

Yami: -_glares at Joey_- You wanna bet?

Yugi: You have...green hair?

Joey: o.O...woah. Didn't see that coming.

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**To Be Continued in the Next Questionable Chapter...**


	5. Yami was Evil

MP: Hello again readers! Yes, the next chapter is up. This suggestion comes from Chibineko. Thanks! - It's a very good idea. I felt I could do more with this, but I wasn't able to come up with anything else. Oh well. Anyway, enjoy! And don't forget to review.

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**What If...**

_...Yami was evil_

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It's the first season of Yu-Gi-Oh. Yugi and friends are on top of Duelist Kindom. Currently, the fate of all they have been fighting for is being determinded in the raging battle between Yami/Yugi and Kaiba. It's the climax of the duel, and Kaiba has just stepped up on the ledge, threatening to jump if Yugi attacks for the win.

Kaiba: Well, what are you waiting for? Make your move and win. Unless you don't have the guts to attack!

Yugi: -_to Yami_- We can't do this!

Yami: -_to Yugi_- We must.

Yugi: -_to Yami_- There has to be another way!

Yami: -_to Yugi_- There isn't. -_to Kaiba_- Kaiba, I've never backed down from a challenge, and I'm not starting now! Celtic Gaurdian, attack!

Yugi's Celtic Gaurdian runs through the group of Kuribohs and is about to launch an attack. Suddenly, Tea tries to run to Yugi, in a dramatic slow motion type of movement.

Tea: Yugi! Stop! You can't do this! This isn't right!

Yugi: -_to Yami_- She's right! We can't do this!

Yami: -_to Yugi_- Oh yes we can! That guy's been making fun of me since we started this freaking duel! I'm finally shutting him up for once!

Yugi: -_to Yami_- No! Please, we can't do this! He'll get killed! W-we have to call off the attack!

Yami: -_to Yugi_- -_groan_- Fine...I'll let him live. Jeez, you're such a kill-joy!

Yugi: -_falls to knees_- STOOOOOPPPP!

Yami: -_rolls eyes_- What a wussy drama king.

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After Yugi's friends gather around him and talk about the duel, Tea does her dramatic speech thing at Kaiba. Meanwhile, Yami sneaks over to Kaiba while he's distracted by the ranting girl.

Tea: ...And what do you have Seto Kaiba? What do you have at the end of the day? Tell me!

Kaiba: I have all that I need!

Yami: I hope you also have some good medical insurance too! -_pushes Kaiba over the edge of the castle_-

Kaiba: -_falls_- AAAaaaaHHHHhhhh! -_hits several tree branches_- Aaaahh! OW! Aaaahh! OW! Aaaaahh! OW!

Yami: Ahahahahaha! XD

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It's the final duel to determine the fate of Yugi's Grandfather, and the next King of Games! Yami has taken over Yugi's body at the time, and is at the dueling arena. Pegasus is on the other side, smirking. Yami is asked to hold up the entry card that shows what prize he wants.

Yami: -_holds up the card that has a blank white picture_-

Annoucer: Very well. As you know, if you win this duel, that card entitles you to anything that Mr. Pegasus owns. His company, his island, his deck, even his Millennium Eye.

Yami: The only prize I want is...Pegasus' vast fortune!

Joey, Tristan, Tea: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Yugi: -_to Yami_- What? What are you talking about? We want Grandpa's soul returned!

Yami: -_to Yugi_- Screw your Grandpa! I need some freakin' money! How else am I gonna buy hair gel?

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To Be Continued in the Next Questionable Chapter... 


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